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Pastor’s Blog » Weblog from Pastor Jack Hanes and ImagineNations Church

Ps Jack - The Love Dare

Man, I have a good wife!
The Bible says when a man finds a wife he finds a GOOD thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
I watched her yesterday serving the Lord, serving His house, serving the people, serving me lunch, and even cooking for my TWELVE.
She is so industrious (refer to Proverbs 31) and so committed and so incredable.
Honestly, where would I be without such a woman?
Her price is far above rubies.
Thank you Heavenly Father for the gift of my wife.

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Ps Carol - Love Completes Each Other

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Ps Jack - The Love Dare

Today I am reading The Love Dare while attending a conference in Asia. Not that today’s particular dare is going to do me much good in that it invokes the sexual component of marriage!

I have to say that my wife is my HERO.
I would not and could not do all that God has called me to without this good woman standing by my side.

I owe her everything. Awesome mother. Brilliant Pastor. Best friend. Mediocre dog trainer. Hot tamale. Truth teller. Confidant. Great girlfriend.

Can’t wait to get home and start on today’s dare.

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Ps Jack - The Love Dare

Day 26

Love is responsible

“When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things.” Romans 2:1

This Scripture seems like it is written specifically for marriage. It is so easy to judge Carols motives and actions and justify mine.

Humility tells ms that there is nothing I judge and condemn in her that I am not guilty of myself.

My relationship with her has always mirrored my relationship with the Lord. It seems the closer I draw to her in honesty and humility the closer I am to Him.

The Proverb says, ‘Only by pride comes contention’. Proverbs 13:10

Pride is what causes me to judge her and justify me.

Lord deliver me from my pride. Help me to take responsility for my own attitudes. Let me extend to her the grace and mercy You extend to me.  Help me to take the beam out of my own eye before I condemn the speck that is in her eye.

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Ps Jack - The Love Dare

Day 25

Love forgives.

“Great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep ‘no record of wrongs.”

Amen!

There are a hundred ways Carol and I can hurt each other. But there is only one way we can heal each other and that is through forgiveness.

I learned a long time ago to never say ‘I’m sorry‘ to Carol. ‘I’m sorry‘ heals nothing.

Instead I have learned to say, “I was wrong, would you please forgive me.”

This releases us both and allows us to deal with the issue at hand and not years worth of baggage and unresolved conflicts that we are both ‘sorry‘ over but have never forgiven.

Forgiveness really does release us.  

Forgiveness is the key to my relationship with God.  

Forgiveness is the key to a lasting marriage.

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Ps Jack - The Love Dare

Love verses Lust

I always remember something I heard as a young man, “Lust can’t wait to get.” 

Lust is so self-focused, love is so ‘others’ focused.

I pray I would always keep my heart and my mind free of lust.  I love my wife.  I am totally committed to being a ‘one woman man, for life’.

Lust is so empty, so unfulfilling, so deceptive.  Love is the real deal. Love is as good as it gets.  I am a rich man to be so loved by my good woman.

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Ps Carol - Going fast

I can’t believe we are already 20+ days doing the Love Dare.  We are really enjoying this journey. We have also been quite busy these past couple of weeks with the national conference and yet another conference last week.  Good to be home and on to a more regular schedule.

I forgot to pack pajamas for this last trip. I thought I did a better job of packing this time - not quite the “slam dunk” method - never the less, I forgot the p.j’s. I was looking through what I brought and trying to decide what I might make do with when my darling came to the rescue.

He decided to share his pajamas with me. He wore the bottoms and I wore the top. How nice was that? I think we discovered a way to make the suitcase lighter - share one set of p.j’s.

I know it’s a small thing, but it was a loving thought and I treasured the thought all week long.

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Ps Jack - The Love Dare

Day 17

Love Promotes Intamacy

My wife knows me so well.  I know her so well.  

I don’t have her figured out yet but I do know her well.

I love the the thought that the purpose of such intimacy is intercession.  No one, absolutely no one can pray for me like Carol.  No one knows me better, understands me better, or sees me more like who I really am than her.

I pray that she will always feel safe with our intimacy.  I pray that she would always know that I am her biggest fan and best cheerleader.  And that I would never use my knowledge of her to hurt her or accuse her or put her down but to pray for her and encourage and help her in every way I can.

The more I know her the more I love her.

I know the Lord knows me like no one else and at the same time loves me like no one else.

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Ps Carol - Love takes delight

This evening I said to my twelve “so how are YOU going with the Love Dare? Tell me some stories.”  I promised not to publish any names, nor will I tell any of the stories - what’s said in the room stays in the room - but I will say it was a room full of laughter and the stories were hilarious.

We also admitted some of the things about the Love Dare that were hard as we  learn to “lead our hearts” rather than follow our hearts.

The “decision to delight” is similar to gratitude. A few years ago I was going through a rough patch emotionally.  I found it easier to dwell on the negative than to be positive.

Then one day I discovered the power of gratitude and I got a notebook and wrote down every single thing I could think of to be grateful for.  It was quite a list but when I finished writing I felt so much better.  I felt the heaviness and self focus were washed  out of me  like after a down pour of rain - the sky clears and the sun shines bright.

Jack and I could choose to focus on each other’s faults - hoping that will change things or we can choose to minimise their importance  … if important at all and focus instead on all the wonderful things we love about each other.

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Ps Jack - The Love Dare

Love Honors.

I am really enjoying and being challenged by the The Love Dare.

Sometimes I forget what a treasure I have in my wife and what a joy she is to me.  The Love Dare is helping me to remember.  Just like sometimes I forget to look up at the stars and at night and be amazed at all I see.

Next to Jesus, Carol really is the best part of my life.  And I honor her, and who she is as a person, a mother, a Christian, my best friend and my most intimate confidant. 

I know sometimes I have failed to honor her and have been very selfish.  I am hoping these 40 days will take me to a new level and help me be all she needs me to be for her.

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